Dear everybody,
Save your self-righteous political indignation for someone who cares. Your opponents’ ideas aren’t half as bad as you think and your own ideas aren’t half as good as you think. All your blustering just makes you look like a jackass.
Thanks,
Me
In the beginning there was the eight ounce bottle. And the clerk said, would you like cola or Nehi? And the consumer was overjoyed with this rare treat.
The eight ounce bottle begat the twelve ounce can. And the clerk said, would you like cola, Nehi, or Dr. Pepper? And the consumer was happy with this occasional treat.
The twelve ounce can begat the 16 ounce bottle. And the clerk said, would you like cola, Nehi, Dr. Pepper, 7-up, Mountain Dew, Country Time? And the consumer was pleased with this regular treat.
The 16 ounce bottle begat the twenty ounce bottle. And the clerk said, would you like col, Nehi, Dr. Pepper, 7-up, Mountain Dew… look, I don’t have time to list everything. Just take a look at our huge selection in the cooler on the back wall. And the consumer was relieved to have this daily drink.
The twenty ounce bottle begat the one liter bottle. And the clerk said, If you don’t find what you like here our store across town has a bigger selection. And the consumer didn’t really care as long as he had some with every meal and between meals and before and after meals. And he drank until he needed a new pant size and even until his heart stopped.
The moral of this story is don’t blame consumerism or marketing for increasing obesity and weight related health problems. Blame High Fructose Corn Syrup.
Testing out posting from Tweetie via the Tumblr API.
Listening to: Blues Traveller - Hook
